Today’s Lesson: The laws of the universe apply everywhere. That is why they are the laws of the Universe.
Most of us learn the basic laws of Physics and Thermodynamics in grade school (and then promptly forget them) but we never think to apply them outside Science class.
When we talk about the fundamental underpinnings of everything we unequivocally know about the universe, we forget those laws include us (because we are part of the universe).
I often take those laws and apply them to seemingly odd areas of life–for example, to help navigate relationships (maybe I’ll write a book about this one day).
Let’s take the Law of Conservation of Energy (the first law of Thermodynamics). In sum, energy can neither be created nor destroyed. It can only be transformed from one form to another. For example, if you push your phone across a table, potential energy (in your hand) is transferred to kinetic energy, causing the phone to slide across the table. This is also (in overly simplified terms) the foundation for how the second and third laws of Thermodynamics work, which are also the First and Second Laws of Entropy.
“Entropy” is a fancy way of saying “Chaos”. As Entropy (Chaos) decreases, things become more ordered. As entropy increases, things become more random and chaotic. The laws of Entropy essentially tell us that the universe always seeks balance… and that is what brings us to relationships.
Relationships, when left alone, tend toward balance, meaning some smooth parts and some rough parts. We seek Order naturally because it is pleasing. We like to feel happy and satisfied and we find those feelings when everything seems to fall in place with our intentions and our world is running smoothly. The catch is, while we build Order in our lives, the universe seeks to balance the ledger. Disorder is created by default, somewhere.
If you find peace with this simple fact, life becomes easier to navigate. Think of it this way:
–When you and your partner are perfectly aligned and everything seems super-happy and could not be going better, enjoy the moment but understand it can not be a permanent state. “Happily Ever After” is the point where a movie ends (but a relationship is only beginning) because showing the rest of the relationship would depress most of us. No one wants to see Snow White and The Prince 10 years later, after she has gained 30 pounds and is depressed about aging and he has to work or hunt 11-hours a day to keep his family satiated and feels like he hasn’t slept in weeks. We do not want to see them bicker about the free-loading dwarves and why the dishes are never done. (Actually, we would kind of love to see that, right?)
–When one of you is aligned and one is not aligned, this is equilibrium. Balance. I am not saying that means everything is good for you and bad for the other person. I am only saying you can not both be perfectly happy all the time. That is okay. That is how life is supposed to work. You are not fighting and you are not in bliss. Balance.
–When you are both out of alignment, then you are creating friction and that is bad. That means fighting, despair, depression, etc. This would be considered a high state of Entropy, or disorder. The universe will force an adjustment. If the friction continues, it will lead to a break down and possibly a break-up. That, again, is the law of Entropy at work (according to my crackpot opinion). The universe will balance the check book and it is not especially concerned with whose feelings are hurt in the process. It is just doing its job by restoring order equal to the chaos.
- If you are happy, don’t worry. It is going to get worse soon.
- If you are sad, don’t worry! It is going to be better soon!
- If you are right down the middle, don’t worry… It will be steady for a while but then it’s going to get crazy–get ready for the ride! (This is because minor variations in a highly ordered state ultimately create entropy that builds the way ripples from a breeze can grow into tidal waves on the ocean).