“Love Me For… Me?”

I have seen this meme a few times on Facebook. I am saddened and angered by what the originator is promoting here, and it is ironic the iconic Betty Boop is used to depict everything opposite of what the character stood for.

 

Betty Boop Doesn't Get It.

 

The last line is a prompt to be proud of who you are, which is fine, except the line comes after describing an obese, lazy, unattractive lady with an unapologetically difficult personality. Really? Do you want to herald that? Do you want to post that on your Facebook wall to celebrate your own mediocrity?

“You should just love me for who I am”; “This is just who I am–take it or leave it…”

Any variation of “be proud to be below average” is a moral cop-out. Before subscribing to popular sentiment, be careful of what you are supporting. Think first and think a lot. The sentiment on that post is that you should be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished in life without comparing yourself to others–that you are perfect just how you are.

Truly? Is there no reason to grow or further who you are as a human being? If you do not compare yourself to others, particularly to others who are more successful than you, then how will you measure your success? Imagine if no basketball player ever compared themselves to Michael Jordan, what would the median success of all basketball players be? In such a world, the greatness of being human would only be in reaching the average and then celebrating the mediocre.

You do not have to accept that you are lazy and unattractive by default, and that is the best you can do, therefore people must lower their standards to love YOU. I hope you think you are better than that or at least recognize you have the potential to be better.

Perhaps the most depressing part of this Betty Boop meme, to me, is the vague proposition from this Zero of a person that IF she loves you back, she will do it with all her (mediocre) heart.

Consider this instead (and it is too bad it will never be popular enough to become a meme):

Be proud of yourself and what you have accomplished, but do not celebrate the parts of you that are average at best. Work to improve them. If you want love, then know who the hero of your love will be.

And know a hero will never want to love you for who you are… he will love you for who you strive to be.

Rather than settle for average, strive to be the person YOU want to fall in love with.

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Michael Salamey

People are made of many things, but only a few things define a person. For me, those things are Philosophy, Leadership, and Health. I help independently owned and ethically run businesses break through communication obstacles and challenge conventional thinking. Sometimes that means delivering insightful marketing content; sometimes it means having tough but compassionate conversations. All the time, it means communicating and building relationships with honesty and integrity. I am a vegan, an individualist, and occasionally a man willing to risk everything to reach a goal. I am known for being uncompromising in my values, and for being someone who dares to own his own life.

4 thoughts on ““Love Me For… Me?””

  1. “Where there is comparison, there is fear…there is conformity, imitation.” J. Krishnamurti

    The vid in this blog contains a short vid from Krishnamurti discussing “comparing.” http://www.michaelbarata.com/communication/the-origins-of-fear

    What is lazy? Is it the opposite of athletic? What is unattractive? Is attractiveness a universal? Can one achieve there own authentic greatness which cannot be referenced to an other’s or be considered a reference for others?

    Though I do not dig on the medium (meme) used to make a point, maybe the notion is one can strive for progress rather than perfection. Love me for who I am, not for my past or my mistakes or my body.

    ***side not: if someone’s lifestyle is truly unhealthy (obesity, addiction, mental disorder, etc.), yes, change v acceptance should be considered.

    1. Thanks, Michael B! Interesting video.
      What is Lazy? Is it the opposite of athletic? No, not necessarily. It is the choice of death over life.
      What is unattractive? Is attractiveness universal? No, it is obviously not. What you and I find attractive can differ.

      Neither of these questions are raised in the meme, though. The meme is not celebrating the opposite of attractiveness or athleticism. It is celebrating mediocrity itself… the opposite of progress and life.

      I believe the creator of that meme probably meant to share the notion you offer, but that is not what she did (at least not in my opinion). Thanks for the feedback. They are still interesting questions, aren’t they?

      1. Right on.

        But I was responding to your point with the questions I asked, “The last line is a prompt to be proud of who you are, which is fine, except the line comes after describing an obese, lazy, unattractive lady with an unapologetically difficult personality.”

        And yikes, choosing laziness = death? But sometimes I like to nap in the middle of the day or or just lay in the sun or do nothing at all.

        1. Laziness does not equal death; it is the choice of death over life. That is not to say there is never a time to be lazy or rest. It is just the recognition that if we are not contributing to life then we are, by default, contributing to entropy, to death. Our time here is limited. What do you choose to spend it on? Sometimes a nap is worth it. When we are present to how little time we have and how much we dream to accomplish, though, sometimes it isn’t. Being lazy does not mean being dead, but those who choose to spend their lives napping, to doing nothing when they have the potential to create the universe they envision, most definitely are choosing death over life.

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